Jay Asher - 13 reasons why...

I was surfing on the net, when it appeared more and more times in front of me. To be honest, I saw the Tv series ads, read the description, and I thought it could teach so much to us. But I didn't start to watch it. Then once I was looking for books on an online book store, I found this one, and I immediately ordered it. I don't have to say that I wasn't disappointed.

I will tell what the book taught to me from tapes to tapes.

Tape 1., Side A.:

In the first sentences we get to know what this story is about. One of our main characters, Hannah Baker committed suicide. She left behind tapes, she recorded the reasons, what led her to her fatal choice. Who listened to these tapes was one of the reasons. We see the story by Clay Jensen's point of view. The book was written a bit confusingly, you have to pay attention when you read it, because once it's Hannah, once it's Clay who is speaking. When they listened to the tapes, they have to send them to the next "reason". If one of them wants to destroy the tapes, Hannah makes things clear: she left behind copies of the tapes, which were at a secret person's place. There was a map to the tapes too, which showed the places Hannah was talking about.

First love. We all remember of it, right? Because we can't forget about our first love...when you first feel something else, something good and bad and infuriating and beautiful. A beautiful chaos. When you are too childish for love. When you are blinded by the pink fog. Hannah's first reason was that too. Or the chaos, the disappointment what it caused. Why does it make boys happy to blow up or to rewrite a story? Why can't they think that the girl, who is in their story, maybe will go through a really deep wound? Because of them? Maybe because they are too childish. They want to be cool. But trust me boys, normal girls don't want it. Not a yob, always-want-to-be-in-the-middle type of egoistic boy. They want a MAN, who can value what he has, and what he gets. A man they can count on. Just like Hannah broke down because of the idea what her first love made about her by a gossip, every girl break down, even if they don't show it. Don't play with girls! Respect each other! And... Grow up boys!

As I always do, I have to write something personally in this theme. Let's see what my first love was like. Thanks God, not like this. We really loved each other. He didn't gossip about me. The only mistake the jealousy was in this relationship. He was really jealous at everybody. But...it wasn't the reason why we broke up. He was the one who broke up with me saying that he felt like this wasn't love anymore... Thinking back of it, we were too childish for a serious relationship. But it still left a deep scar in me. Seriously, what am I waiting from my sensitive soul? After all, he was my very first love. :) And I didn't repent any minute I spent with him.

Tape 1., Side B.:

Teenage girls usually go through a really bad situation, where boys mention their "good body parts". It wouldn't be a bad thing just to mention them...the tone is in their actions, because they usually touch these body parts too. Of course, even when the girls don't want it. It also makes me think, that boys play with girls, like they would be some kind of stuffs. Like girls wouldn't feel anything. Hannah went through this whole situation because of a list, which was made by one of her friends. A Best/Worst list. Even the girl was on the Best side, it still effected on her soul, you know, the aftermath. Boys thought they had the right to experience why that part of Hannah's body was on the Best side of the list.
In primary school, boys groped me many times, even though I didn't want it. To be exact, one boy started it, and after him the other boys thought they also had the right to grope me. I remember, I was always afraid to stand up from the chair, or go somewhere.

The only conclusion I want to draw, that we can't let them do it. We have to talk back, stand up for ourselves, or for our friends. After all, it also leaves a deep scar in people, mostly in girls.

Tape 2., Side A.:
Everybody has a best friend, right? At least a kind of friend, who - you think - you can count on. With whom you can share your problems. And what happens, when this friend doesn't believe in you, when this friend listens to a gossip about you? Sure, your soul gets hurt. Hannah's third reason was a person, who she thought about as her friend. With whom she liked talking after school. And what happened? Gossip, backbiting. And even though Hannah tried really hard to prove her truth, it was useless. Maybe it was easier for this friend to accept what the others said. Sad. It is really sad to get disappointed in someone, who helped through the day.

I also had a best friend, who hurted me many times. She created gossips about me behind my back, which weren't true. She did it because of a boy, who she loved and who was my friend. I don't have to say how much I cried because of her. I tried to prove that she wasn't right, but I had less and less friends. After all, one day I sat down to learn german for the next day's lesson, and when I opened the book, a letter fell down. From my best friend... an apologetic letter. We made friends again, but this friendship wasn't the same anymore... the scars still stayed.

Tape 2, Side B:

The fourth reason was an unfamiliar theme for me - luckily. Lurking. To be honest, I haven't heard about similar stories in my neigborhood yet. Hannah, one night, when she arrived at home from her date, went in her room and in the silence she heard a camera click. Someone was lurking. Of course I would get scared too. But I didn't understand, why she told it to one of her classmates who she didn't talk with much. But the lesson we can learn from it, that boys, don't ruin the girl's self-respect with some kind of childish things, like lurking.

Tape 3, Side A: 

In everyone's life appears a person at least once, who wants to be friend... then later, you found out that she or he had a reason, right? Sadly, there are fake friends in the world. Who needs you, when they need something. A job what they can get for sure if you talk with the right person... a criminal case, what you can smooth over because you have police officer friends... or maybe money, when they are out of them. There could be many reasons why a fake friend wants to be around you.

A fake friend found Hannah, because she wanted a drive home from a party in the book. And yeah, we can say "It's not a big deal.", but if we think about it a little more: once one of our acquaintances - or kind of friend - appears in our lives, asks how we are, of course kindly, more modest than usual, and enquiringly. That's the reason people start to open up immediately, to believe that there is someone who really cares. People start to hope, that there is someone who they can count on... until this someone says something like "It would be so great if you could drive me to the party tonight". And then we fell on our faces. At least the ones, who already met fake friends. So to a girl, like Hannah, it really did matter that she had someone she thought about as a friend...and this friend used her. What an ugly phrase: just used her. You know, fake friends, you really ruin your partner's soul when you use them and don't wanna be their real friend. You have to care about them too, not just with yourselves.

Clay meets his old love on the bus, and he says something really thought-provoking statement in his mind: "Why does she insist on being an outcast? What changed? No one knows. One day, at least it seemed that fast, she just stopped wanting to be a part of anything." Yes, that is what happens to someone, when too much bad things come.

Tape 3, Side B:

"And then…well…certain thoughts begin creeping around. Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust?" The same thoughts have been in my mind too, not once. But... no talking about me. As I wrote down at the previous tape, after all the bad things people start to hope to find someone, who can help to fix their lives. Who doesn't believe in rumours, who wants to know their real self. That was the reason why Hannah accepted the date, what we can hear about in that tape... she thought, she might get a chance to disprove those rumours about her. But how could she disprove it, when her partner wanted to date with her because of the rumours? So we can totally understand the quoted part from the girl. 

How could someone be full of happiness, when the only thing that comes is disappointments?

Tape 4, Side A:

You know, when you see that there is something wrong with someone, if her or his attitude to things changes, for example less talking, lot of thinking, talk to them. Even when they don't want to. Make them feel, that there is someone they can count on. Make them feel that it's unnecessary to think about stupid things. Remind them, that life is valuable, they can't just throw it away. Don't be afraid of telling if we like something in someone, like hair, or the new shoes. Because when someone doesn't have self-confidence, these little things will help them to see the world better. 

It's important to know, that if someone is capable of suicide, doesn't know it. It crosses their minds, what is more, they also think about it, but not seriously. At least, until the fatal thought. Maybe Hannah wouldn't get to the last thought, if this boy doesn't break her self-confidence more. Maybe if she gets those cheering messages, she would change her mind.

Tape 4, Side B:

It's an unfamiliar theme for me again: Hannah writes poems secretly, but one day she shares this secret with one of her classmates, thanks to a poetry group. The boy stole Hannah's poem, and published it in his newspaper, anonymously. Hannah has to go through how her classmates make a game of her emotional world - because a poet speaks through her/his poems - and it leads more to her breaking down.

Tape 5, Side A:

We get to know the secret person, who owns the copies of the tapes in this chapter. It was really surprising for me, I didn't think of that person could be connected to Hannah. Also, we finally arrived to our Clay's tape.

"And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything…affects everything." If someone gets too much pain in life, it's getting harder and harder to hope. But, as we know, hope never dies. We hope, that there is someone to save us. Hannah saw that life-saver in Clay. An opporunity to give life a try. But sadly, this opportunity came too late. We can ask, that how can we help to someone if that someone doesn't want us to help? That's not an option. Every single person want help, even when they don't want to admit it even to themselves. Why does someone become depressed, gloomy, negative? Because she or he thinks, that there isn't anyone in her or his life, who wants to help, who wants to listen. Don't give up communication! Remember of what reasons could lead them to this attitude. Don't leave them alone, because it isn't sure that they can reach the willpower to save themselves. Because everyone has that willpower, you just have to find it, reach it.

Tape 5, Side B:

What happens when the victim becomes the viewer? When the one, who got so bad in life sees something bad happening to someone else? And what if she could do something against it, she could stop it, but she doesn't do it? Another reason for collapsing. Another reason for not wanting to live. You can say, that why should we help someone, who needs help, but when she should give help she doesn't do it? It is people's stupidity, stubbornness. Who cares, what she would do? What does matter to me to help someone who isn't so strong like me. Speaking about Hannah, this huge thing really has an effect on her life. There is someone else, who also sees the "story", but since the book goes by Hannah's perspective, we don't get to know how this thing affects on that person's life.

"But to stop it, I felt like I’d have to stop the entire world from spinning. Like things had been out of control for so long that whatever I did hardly mattered anymore.And I couldn’t stand all the emotions anymore. I wanted the world to stop…to end."

Tape 6, Side A:

The next story is really movie-alike, not so similar to the others. A car accident, what happens because of Hannah and her classmate's irresponsibility. A death just broke more on the girl's soul. It could happen in real life too. Luckily, it hasn't happened to me yet.

Tape 6, Side B:

I'm getting to be more sure about boys seeing girls as some kind of game. They think they can do anything they want to, and when the girl wants or doesn't want to do something, they ask: why?

In this tape we met a really serious theme. Rape. I could never ever imagine, how can be someone so dick (respect for the boys, who couldn't do this), to do so disgusting thing to girls. DISGUSTING. And for those, who read the book, it might seem like Hannah let him do it, and maybe you think it doesn't count as a rape, I would like to say that you have to see behind the actions. Hannah was crying. A boy, who cares about the girl too, respects what the girl wants, if he sees the girl crying, he won't force to make love. So yes, it was rape. And it also shows, how much we are afraid of helping each other.

Tape 7, Side A:

The last tape... a request for help. I think who thinks about suicide, doesn't admit it, but tries to get help from every way. And she does the last step, when she doesn't get help from anywhere. In this part, the counsellor says Hannah to move on. Of course, this is the solution. But for a person, who went through that much, how would it be so simple to move on? Just like that? No. It will never be that easy..


Lesson: if we have someone in our lives, who has that kind of weak soul, be there for them! Encourage them that life is beautiful, don't lie to them. But the most important is: give them lots of love and caring. Don't make them feel they have to fight with this feelings alone. Don't make them feel, that life only has bad stations. And trust me, if we can help those people, our lives will be much better too.

And now, for those who thinking about it: I know, it's hard to say anything that could help to change your point of view. I don't want to list positive statements and quotes, because although it is hard to admit, but I am also a really weak soul. But - and I'm really proud of it - I managed to beat myself. There isn't impossible, trust me. You all have to fight constantly... even when there isn't anyone who wants to help. Or look for someone, who can be there for you, when you need someone. And if you are really interested in that thought, think about what you would leave behind. Would you really do it to your friends? Your relatives? Your parents? Would you really do it even when it could make one of your relatives go crazy? The risk to kill himself or herself? No, you surely don't want it.

So, if there isn't anyone else, help yourself. Beat yourself! Because, I repeat, anything is possible.

Loredana Frescura, Marco Tomatis - Il mondo nei tuio occhi

(In English: The World In Your Eyes)

„Two sides of a love story” says the cover. Yes, it tells about a love story. By the boy’s side and by the girl’s side. It’s a typical teen love, but there are definitions about love in the book, which we haven’t seen yet. I will quote these definitions across my opinion.

The story begins by the girl, Constanza’s point of view. We get to know that she is staring at her boyfriend, with whom she argued or broke up. Constanza thinks that Angelo, the boy isn’t sad at all, but angry and he wants to leave the station as soon as he can. The next chapter shows the same, just by the boy’s side. We see that Angelo is really angry at his girlfriend, but truly, deep in his heart he can’t wait for the girl to give a sign that she wants to talk to him. – Stubbornness. It appears in a lot of relationships. Well, if we want to keep love, we have to tell our opinion in the right time and right mood, and we can’t return the stubbornnes with resentment or the same behaviour. It just ruins the relationship. Just like it did to Constanza and Angelo’s love, almost tragically…

„If I would be really in love, I would be happy, I would see pink hearts on the wall of the room and I would bark at the moon. Then what is it? It’s a wild wolf, which runs in my stomach, and devastates my villi, and everything else that moves.” – Constanza. To be honest, I was always thinking about pink hazy love. I had two relationships, that was pinky, they ended soon. Maybe it is the first part of love. At least I read it on a lot of websites. But now… I have to admit, that I didn’t feel the pink love. I felt, what is more, I still feel the weird thing in my stomach, when I see him, but it looks more like Constanza’s feelings. Why? I can’t explain it. I only know, that there is something different in this relationship, it is more real, than the pink love.

„He laughs again, as if the windows of the train would laugh too. A world opens, when he laughs.” – Constanza. It is another form of love: it makes you happy, when your other half is happy.

„When love arrives, it destroys everything. It isn’t a simple storm. It’s a bomb, which makes you deaf, blind, which deletes your sense of time. Everything disappears. The colors, the scents, the flavours. The humans disappear too, and only you stay to pay attention to the nothing. Terrible. The love, which arrives. Beautiful. Everything what was, never existed, and everything that comes, only a dream. The love, which arrives. There isn’t present. Do you understand, teacher, not indicative mood, not conjunctive mood. Maybe just conditional mood. We have to live in our memories, or in the future, waiting for Him, the bomb, which arrives.”- Constanza. People say, love comes unexpectedly. You can’t chase it, you can’t look for it, it will come when it’s time for it to come. I’ve learned it too. And if it arrives, it really destorys everything. Even if it’s not pinky love. It makes you change some kind of way. And even though Constanza describes love as a bomb, it is still the best feeling we can feel. To love, and to be loved.

„Is it love? Is it that simple? Things get to be settled in their place. Like it would be magic. Like a billion pieces of puzzles, which are only a lot of - grey on one side, and colorful on the other side – papers at one moment, unmistakable promise of shapes and colors. And at the other moment it is an enchanted castle in the wood, or a coral reef, full of fish in every colors and shapes. And you wonder about why you haven’t seen that the pieces fit perfectly together before. Why you haven’t seen the finished puzzle game in the paper piles before? And it didn’t need so much work. But why is it so rarely then? At this time the touch, the kiss are the most simple and most natural things in the world. Like the hands would know, where they have to be. Yours and hers too. They don’t need to be guided. If you are in love, the world is in perfect alignment with you. When you sit in the terrace of a bar on a sunny day, which warms you, but not too much, and you see that everything, everything and everything is in the right place: people on the square, clouds above your head, the wind, the cooing birds, the ants carrying crumbs. Even that two porphyry bricks have to be there, and not elsewhere. It is simple. It is complicated. – Angelo. Certainly, that’s love. :) And when time flies, when you get to know more each other, your mistakes, and more and more complications stand in your way, even then everything is in the right place, even when you don’t see it. Everything helps to improve the relationship. Or it simply shows that you two have to be together or not.

In one chapter, a pretty girl from school invites Angelo to her birthday party. Angelo feels, that it wouldn’t be a right thing to go because of Constanza, but his best friend, Roberto says the next thing to him: „ She invited you, and you would be lame if you wouldn’t go. My brother always says, that it is a never-happens-again opportunity.” So, dear best friends, I would like to speak to you first. Do you know what friendship means? To be someone’s best friend? It means, you want the best for your friend. You want to see him happy. You want his life to go well. So, don’t encourage him for anything bad when he loves his girlfriend! A never-happens-again opportunity? Yes, it is. But the girlfriend is too. She isn’t an insensitive object. And if your friend really loves his girlfriend, and because of your encouragement or your help he does something bad, that hurts his relationship, and maybe it ends with break-up, trust me, you would be responsible for it. Is it worth to risk your friendship because of a never-happens-again opportunity? And now I speak to you, boys in love: is it worth to risk your happiness with that girl you love so much because of a never-happens-again opportunity? Because of a thing that only makes you happy for a few hours? You know, these things won’t be there for you in the rest of your life. But your girlfriend will do. So, best friends, and boyfriends in love, think about what you do in a relationship. Because a girlfriend may forgive, but never forget.

Girls, we can’t stay out of it too. We also can do stupid things, mostly when we are upset, broken and sad, right? Constanza gave back the cheating to Angelo. And girls, it is our biggest mistake. The revenge. We want to give back the pain we get from our boyfriends. Of course, after we did it, we immediately feel ashamed of ourselves, and we admit that there was no point in what we did at all. Namely we do much worse with giving back, than the one who hurted us. Then – I say it from experience – not only the disappointment will hurt, but also what we did. The revenge will hurt too. Of course, you try to forget it, you try to get over it, but it will have this subject on your brain, that you aren’t better than the one who hurted you. So, the best thing you can do is that you don’t pay off the hurting. You decide in yourself, if you can or can’t forgive, you can or can’t get over it, and tell your partner calmly. This is love.

I tell you my own opinion about love. Of course, there are a lot of important things in love, but to me, the most important thing is honesty. It doesn’t matter how bad is the thing you want to tell to your love, tell him or her. Don’t be ashamed of asking for advice or help. This is a part of love, to support, help each other. And if we reached honesty, we will build trust slowly. But it won’t build up, if you want to fool your love. Especially not a girl. Because, you know boys, just because a girl don’t tell you everything she knows, trust me, she knows it, and you can’t fool her. The girl, who doesn’t tell you about the informations she knows, she thinks about what she should do. Wait for you to tell her? Or ask for advice? Don’t try to betray the girl. Because if you want to fool her not only one time, if you lie to her, she will get tired of it. And if she gets tired of it, there is no turning back. So I’m asking again: is it worth to risk your happiness? Your relationship? It has to be answered only by you. And if the answer is yes, then leave that girl to find the happiness she deserves!

All in all, I would like to recommend this book for those, who wants to see what love means for a girl and for a boy too. I only quoted love quotes from the story, but a lot of important things happen in the book: a pregnant friend, divorce, a sick relative. It is a kind story, full of feelings, a bit confusing,it is written not in an ordinary way, not in an ordinary train of thought. :)

John Green - Paper Towns

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My first John Green book was The Fault In Our Stars. I was crying at the end of it, like I cry at the end of every book. Then I was curious at Looking for Alaska. ( I will write about them too.) Finally I chose to read Paper Towns.

To be honest, I saw the film first. I usually don’t watch the film first, then read the book. If I do watch the film, I don’t read the book. But now, I made an exception. And I didn’t regret it. There are a lot of similarities between the book and the film, although the end is different. The whole story goes by Quentin’s perspective, a boy, who is straight A at school and a good kid. Margo has a key role in the story too, but this boy’s will-power, his „changing” stands in the centre of the book.

Quentin and Margo were neighbors, they were really good friends when they were little kids. One day they discover a body next to the road, a man’s body, who committed suicide. At this part, we can see the differences between the two main characters. While Quentin wants to go home to tell his parents, Margo wants to see the body closer. After that we have a time jump, and we see that the two friends got separated from each other. Quentin is the quiet kid, and Margo is known by her adventurous stories. She is the cool girl, who can manipulate the whole school. Quentin’s platonic love for Margo is still unbreakable. Then, one night, Margo appears at Quentin’s window. Just like when they were kids. After their adventurous night, Margo disappears…

I liked, when Margo talks about Orlando as a paper town. „Everyone demented with the mania of owning things. All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people, too.” If we think about it, the world is just like this. At least there are a lot of people, who takes for granted everything, like friendship or relationship. You can’t own a person. You can't take for granted them. Every feelings should be cherished. You have to keep in touch with your friends, ask them how they are and not because the politeness, but because you really want to know it. Listen to them when they are sad, angry, helpless, and try to help them. That’s what friendship about. You can’t take for granted your love in your relationship. There isn’t matter how much a girl loves a boy, or a boy loves a girl, if these feelings aren’t watered, they won’t stay together forever. Because, you know, I believe in love forever. All you have to give is enough attention, caring, and love. Not owning.

The story introduces us the real friendship. Quentin is helped by his two friends, Ben and Radar. They support Quentin even when they see no chance to find Margo. From Margo’s cool friends (4 people) only one wants to find her, and say sorry to her.

As the story goes, our boy changes a lot. He starts to act like Margo. He goes into lost buildings, misses school. And the most important thing is: he follows his heart. In real life, most people stops their plans when they clash to the first difficulty. It isn’t right. You have your life to live it. You don’t need anything else, but will-power. Most people don’t have this will-power. Just like I don’t have. But at least… I’m trying. :)

„You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it’s going with my girlfriend—but I don’t give a shit, man, because you’re you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that’s okay. They’re them. I’m too obsessed with a reference Web site to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That’s okay, too. That’s me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You’re funny, and you’re smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually.” – It is hard not to notice the missing of caring, but the true friendship won’t ruin by this. Even though I still say that we have to talk to our friends sometimes about them. Ask them how their lives are going. The quoted part shows another problem too: accepting others. We have to accept each other, mostly the fact, that no one can acts like us. We can’t change someone according to our needs just because we would do something differently as they do. That is another thing I also have to learn. Because it’s true, that the person I think of right now is always late, but he always shows up eventually. :)

Quentin’s parents are psychologists. I was always interested in this world, because I loved listen to the people and gave them advice. A lot of people I talked to said that they felt something special when they were talking to me: like we would know each other for years. I would like to quote from Quentin’s dad now: „…humans lack good mirrors. It’s so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel.” – Well, lots of us put on a mask, because we are afraid of showing to others our real-self. Why? Because we can’t accept each other. I had a relationship, where my partner didn’t show his real soul, just because I am a fragile, kind girl who has – as he said – „that kind of job, which needs a really smart person”. He showed himself as a kind, helpful boy. After the break-up, the mask fell down. And I realized, that I was in love with a fictional character. It isn’t about that I couldn’t fall in love with his real-self, but to be honest, lies are killing my feelings. You can’t build a relationship with lies. What I want to say with this quote is that every time you have to show your real-self. Be faithful to yourself, and trust yourself!

Margo wasn’t that girl everybody knew. When Quentin and his friends arrives at Agloe, they find Margo at the barn, the only building in Agloe. (It’s a difference between the book and the film!!!) At first, Margo acts like the girl they knew. (The mask is still on.) Her best friend, Lacey, who came to say sorry to Margo, gets really disappointed in the girl after she sees, that Margo isn’t really care how she felt worried about her. Like it would be naturally. At the end, only Quentin stays with Margo. That is the time, when the mask falls down. Margo starts screaming at the boy, she cries that she didn’t want them to look for her. Quentin faces with a different girl; Margo isn’t the girl anymore, who he was imagining about, who he thought he knew. She was a fragile girl, who thought about committing suicide too. Knowing these he still cares, still stays. When they calm down, Margo tells the whole story, beginning with their childhood. Finally she calls herself a paper girl. „People love the idea of a paper girl. They always have. And the worst thing is that I loved it, too. I cultivated it, you know? Because it’s kind of great, being an idea that everybody likes. But I could never be the idea to myself, not all the way.” This was the problem with my relationship I was talking about too. Humans can’t wear a mask for so long, they can’t act a role for years or for months. And they don’t have to.

It was really thought-provoking Quentin’s monologue at the end of the book:

„The strings make pain seem more fatal than it is, I think. We’re not as frail as the strings would make us believe. And I like the grass, too. The grass got me to you, helped me to imagine you as an actual person. But we’re not different sprouts from the same plant. I can’t be you. You can’t be me. You can imagine another well—but never quite perfectly, you know? Maybe it’s more like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen—these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places. And I mean, yeah, once the vessel cracks open, the end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And it’s only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.”

To sum up, this book was instructive for me, because it shows how important friendship is. It shows that we don’t have to put on masks. We have to accept and love everybody for themselves. (Maybe it is the most important thing I have to learn.) And even though I show my real me in a friendship or in a relationship, I feel myself as a paper girl sometimes too. Sometimes I feel I have to live as people want me to live. Because I am an accountant, I can’t do some things, like partying hard. Sometimes I realize that my tattoes don’t fit in the picture which the people around me made about me. Everybody thinks that I am a kind, cute, loveable girl. And actually I am, but I also have mistakes. I can be evil, I can be really bad, I can hurt really hard the ones I love. I was drunk, not only once, and I didn’t regret my tattoes, because they mean a lot to me. So yeah, I have many mistakes, but one thing is sure: if I get to love someone, I will always love that someone. I am sensitive, I always cry at everything. And even if I tried to change it, I couldn’t do it. But knowing this story, I don’t want to change myself anymore. Because that is just who I am. And as Quentin said, if anyone can’t live with your real you, then accept this fact, accept yourself, and let you walk your own way not crossing their way. But if you find someone, who can love you for who you are, stays with you no matter how hard you are, be faithful for them. Because they will build you, guide you on your way in life!